When was the last time that you felt truly free from work-related thoughts? Do you recognise the anxiousness that follows when those thoughts take over your spare time?
The inability to let go of work-related worries is a widespread problem. And no wonder. It’s hard to enjoy your me-time if you feel like there’s an avalanche of work waiting for you the next day.
It can be hard to find stress management techniques that truly work.
That's why I've compiled my best tips for calming your mind and stop thinking about work.
1. Harness the power of the pen
Our minds are free spirits: we simply can’t control our thoughts, no matter how much we’d like to. They will always come and go. The trick is to learn to be more comfortable with those thoughts.
Journaling is an excellent way to neutralise unwanted thoughts. When you transfer your thoughts to a piece of paper, you’ll find that there is more room for clarity in your mind.
Some find it useful to write down their worries before they leave work, while others may find it comforting to wrap up the day in a few words before going to bed. You can do it anytime you feel like it.
Even if you’re not a notebook fanatic like me, you will likely benefit from journaling. There is no right or wrong way to do it — just write down whatever comes to your mind. Let the thoughts flow freely and write for as long as you want.
The point is not what you write — it’s that you write in the first place.
2. Find time for deep relaxation
Your mind and body are working overtime to cope with the ongoing situation when you are stressed. To overcome this state of emotional strain, you should find ways to calm down your body and mind.
There are several relaxation techniques to choose from. For some, a Yin class or a mindfulness meditation might do the trick. For others, small breathing pauses throughout the day may help.
When we are deeply relaxed, our brain waves are operating at lower frequencies than when we are fully alert. As your mind sinks in an ocean of worry-free warmth, you will likely find your thoughts loosening their grip over you.
While lying in a dark room listening to Tibetian singing bowls may not fix all your troubles, it will help you forget about your worries for a while. Deep relaxation can also be an effective way to put things into perspective and keep your anxiety in check.
3. Schedule a "worry hour"
This is one of my favourite tricks in the book. I learned it from a clinical nurse specialised in sleep problems when I was battling my stress-related insomnia.
It might sound a little fluffy, but making time for your worries is a great way to control your work-related anxiety.
Whenever you notice an unwanted thought arising, do the following:
- Let it surface without judgment, anger or disappointment (because as we’ve discussed above, you can’t affect the thoughts that come up)
- Remain neutral and say the following in your mind: “Thank you (worry/thought) for surfacing, but now is not the right time for you. If you’re important enough, I will deal with you when the time is right. Bye for now.”
The idea is then to reserve time in your calendar for these worries. You can either schedule a small lot every morning, or you could choose to have one or two longer sessions during the week.
It’s important to meet your worries with compassion and determination. When you know that there’s a dedicated time to go through your thoughts, the tension will quickly ease.
And when it’s time for your date with your worries, take a cup of coffee and go through everything that is on your mind. If you’re lucky, you may even notice that “What if I’m not good enough” is no longer a pressing issue.
4. Sweat your worries out
If your mind is occupied with worries, try occupying it with something else. And what better way to do that than through a workout?
Sweating out your worries at the gym or the local yoga studio boosts your feel-good hormones and puts your focus elsewhere. Going out for a run can turn into a mindfulness practice when your thoughts are focused on the next step instead of the future or the past.
Simply put, exercising is a great way to deal with stress.
But be careful. If you’re experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety, the last thing you want to do is to overflow your body with more stress through a hard gym session. So take it easy and listen to your body.
5. Talk to someone
Thoughts come and go and it’s smart to take a mindful view of this natural process. You don’t need to focus on each and every thought. However, sometimes we just need to vent out our worries.
Find a person who will listen. It could be a friend, your partner or someone from HR. Then talk about what’s on your mind. Let your emotions run free and complain your heart out if you feel like it. Don’t be afraid to let a little steam out.
We are not machines, we are human beings with real feelings and emotions. It’s natural to feel stressed if you’re carrying too big of a workload or feel like you are not being valued at work. You don’t have to pretend otherwise.
So cry if you feel like crying. Be honest, open and vulnerable.
It will get better once you get those blockages out of your system.
6. Discover and OWN your inner confidence
Sometimes it can take a little effort to find your inner strength when you are stressed. Yet, you have the right to take time for yourself without worrying about all the world’s troubles. You are not responsible for everything.
And no matter what this modern world may suggest, you are okay just the way you are. You don’t have to be perfect, because, by default, human beings are imperfect beings.
Your mind is your biggest ally but also your greatest enemy. Don’t let it drag you down into deep waters. Instead, try focusing on this moment and remember that everything will always work out.
Give yourself permission to do your best and stop carrying all that excess weight. You are enough and you will be okay.
Now enjoy your sacred me-time!